English to English

On teabags


– Martin Pengelly

Why the fuck do Americans package teabags in individual bags of their own? 

Why? What is the conceivable purpose of hiding a teabag inside another bag, pouch or sachet? What’s the point? Freshness? Hardly. Preservation? Not likely. A simple waste of paper, born of an overtly American, wanton disregard for the planet’s dwindling resources? Arguably. Advertising? Irritatingly, probably. 

I suspect malign agency, possibly involving the NSA. I suspect that Americans put their teabags inside other bags specifically to up the chances of innocent citizens clumsily ripping open the teabag as well as its holder, thus spilling tea all over the counter and necessitating the sooner purchase of new tea, thus driving up the ill-gained profits of Lipton, Bigelow and other brands that are obviously inferior anyway, by dint of not being Taylors of Harrogate.


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