The UK, as you probably already know, has just suffered its worst storm for several years. Trains were cancelled. Trees fell down. People, sadly, lost their lives. For us, it was a big deal.
But you Americans might have wondered what the big deal was. Because if there’s one thing you lot do spectacularly well, it’s mythologising storms. You make films about storms. You make films about storms full of cows. You make films about storms full of sharks, for crying out loud. You even made a film called The Perfect Storm, just to rub our noses in it.
You know what we’d call a film about one of our storms? The Storm That Was Sort Of Adequate I Suppose, If You Could Even Really Call It A Storm. It’d be about a man being drizzled on in a car park. It’d be crap. How did you transport Dorothy across dimensions in The Wizard of Oz? Inside a gigantic storm. If The Wizard of Oz was set here, Dorothy would have spent 20 years standing outside her front door with an open umbrella and a pair of rollerskates, waiting for a gust of wind strong enough to blow her to the end of her drive.
When you have a storm, Kanye West goes on television and creates the single most embarrassing moment of a president’s career. The nearest thing we could ever get to that is Pam Ayres tutting at the Queen on The Alan Titchmarsh Show. I’m leaving you to Google those references, America. You’ve beaten us so comprehensively here that you deserve to to a bit of legwork.
(Photo: Ping Kwan/Barcroft Media)